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Midnight Excursions

Suddenly, I'm jolted wide awake, surrounded by the darkest grey silence with the weight of my comforter on my bare legs to remind me that it's the middle of the night. At first, i hear only the faint hum of the occasional delivery truck on the freeway just a handful of blocks from our house. Then, moments later, there is the plaintive request from just outside my bedroom door as The Governor beckons for assistance with a just-past-midnight trip to the bathroom. I rush to put on a bathrobe, and then greet him with gentle reassurances as I guide him to the toilet.

He is dizzy, coated with the remnants of sleep as I help him with his pajama bottoms and underwear. I stand a few feet away as he expertly aims the steady stream to its destination. Something of an overachiever, His Honor decided immediately after learning to potty train that he favored standing over sitting, making an exception as needed, of course. We conclude our trip with the ritual handwashing, and he stealthily makes his way back to his generous full bed.

The bed creaks as he climbs on, a legacy held together with plastic ties wrapped around bedframe legs that bent during an enthusiastic, in person demonstration of the "Monkeys On the Bed" song. He lies down, and I ask if he would like his music. He nods silently, and I see the faint outline of his cheeks in the darkness, the last vestiges of his baby days countenance still remaining-at least for now. I lie down for a little while while the soft lullaby CD starts to play, its slow timbre ringing a tune that The Governor softly declares "the one I love when I was a baby."

I feel a sad pang in my heart as I realize that I can never fully experience those times any more, at least not with this one. For he is all boy-I see it in his silhouette as he races in front of me, or stands with his weight leaning on one leg. The stance embodies a sureness of gait, as he has fully mastered the art of sharks-and-minnows and duck, duck goose.

As he begins to drift back to sleep, I steal back to my own bed, and Conan utters a brief noise of recognition as I climb back in and sigh, my thoughts lagging, still lingering in the room across the hall, where a boy has fully submerged himself in sleep.