"It's nice to have choices," they murmur when there is nothing left to say. I feel like I'm rubbing smooth a two-sided stone, looking at one side, and then the other, flipping it back and forth between my hands. There's only so much rubbing that can be done, and eventually I must choose what side I like best-and leave it alone.
The result of the nine-month project on which I'd been working, this two-sided stone is what I carry around in my pocket at work. I show it to my husband, and try my best to describe it to my son. "Look," I say, "and tell me what side you like best." My loving husband, calm and rational yet biased in his perspective, tells me what side he likes and provides an exposition as to why one side's smoothness and calmness appeals to him. My son, while he does not understand, shrugs and picks one, just because.
I made my choice, and I am comfortable with it. It isn't without some sadness that I opted for change. Not an overwhelming move, and not necessarily one that may end up making a huge difference in the long run, but it's definitely a change. I feel happy about it, but I can also hear doubt in people's voices. Still, I think there is room to grow. I like my new bosses. And I think I also have much to teach them as well.
Posted by equilibrium-girl at September 12, 2005 07:58 PM