ANYTOWN, USA--A dashing, blond Caucasian man with Conan O'Brien's facial structure was found weeping uncontrollably while sitting on the street corner, surrounded by chopped carrots. A 20-lb bag of Jasmine rice lay askew at his feet.
He was initially sighted shortly around dinnertime, wandering the streets, muttering "...fish oil...sesame seeds...fish oil...sesame seeds...," over and over to himself, his 6'3" frame hunched over silently as he fumbled with a rice spatula in his hand. Attempts to calm him proved fruitless.
When brought to the police station for questioning, he broke down and admitted to purchasing generic soy sauce, even though his grocery store's supply of low sodium Kikkoman was plentiful. He was allegedly lured to this unfortunate choice by bad judgment and promised savings.
"How was I know that the green cap and pungent soy odor was everything?" he exclaimed in a fit of frustration as authorities released him from custody.
His wife and young son could not be reached for comment, having run to the Asian grocery store to correct the misfortune.
Posted by equilibrium-girl at September 24, 2005 03:24 PMOh, no!! Why would anyone use anything other than Kikkoman soy sauce!!
I think they must put crack in there. I'm so loyal to Kikkoman.
Posted by: teahouseblossom at October 1, 2005 10:23 AM