Little by little, His Honor extracts himself from me. I feel it in every unraveling of the string that binds the two of us together. In the mornings, he comes to our room with his arms laden with stuffed animals and lies between Conan and myself for about 10 minutes before it's time for me to shower. That really is one of the few moments where we are still, his head on either my shoulder or Conan's. We are side by side, but only for a brief moment of the day.
As he bids me goodbye in the mornings, he does not run up to me and kiss me goodbye. I suppose he's in the presence of friends, but I did not think that that type of self-consciousness set in until the pre-teen years. Is he mature for his age, perhaps? I hope that is not the case. Hugs and mommy-cuddles are for right before bedtime, and for breaks during soccer games and for those times when we have tested each other's limits and rubber-band back to each other after the storm of a tantrum. But they are becoming a little less frequent. And that makes me sad.
The past few days, we have been working on a poster with pictures that show his growth over the past near-six (!) years. The roundness of his cheeks has almost vanished into thin air, but I remember the pudginess that framed his eyes so vividly. "Wistful" would not even begin to describe it. Have I started thinking about another baby simply because I miss those days--or am I starting to be ready once again for our lives to be shaken to the core again?
Posted by equilibrium-girl at May 21, 2007 11:23 PMAwww...what a cute post. I can imagine it must be a little bittersweet. You do want them to grow up, but of course changes always need getting used to.
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