equilibrium-girl.com

Shopping With the Girl 2

i think that every girl is entitled to at least drool over a new pair of shoes.

or perhaps a spring jacket would brighten your mood, especially if you were to brighten it with a handmade, felted flower.

you could buy a little princess something to store her treasures in.

or why not buy your own red agate beads and string your own pretty bracelet?

Sick Days

getting sick might possibly be my body's response to working too hard. after a couple of difficult days last week, i continued to go into work and then this past weekend, i took care of my little guy all by myself of Saturday while my husband was out of town. i woke up yesterday and promptly emptied my cranial cavities of all that had accumulated there overnight.

it took a good 20 minutes.

and instead of sleeping, i'd decided to read Susan Monk Kidd's "The Secret Life of Bees," which had started off slow, but is going to be finished this afternoon.

i rarely take days off, including weekends. those two days that mark the end and the beginning of the week are always reserved for day trips to apple orchards or petting zoos, grocery shopping, working in the backyard. it's only lately that i've forced myself to quit being so ambitious with my plans for weekends, and only do the minimum needed to survive.

but today--today is my own. so what if i'm completely exhausted still, after having slept until 10:30 a.m.? so what if that guilt for not drafting a promised business plan keeps tapping me on the shoulder? i'm going to relax for a bit, take that second lavender-scented bath in 24 hours, and just breathe for a change.

undue criticism

Katrina (feistyscribe) got a comment chastizing her for a number of things, such as pursuing multiple creative outlets, and purportedly falling prey to the "you get'em girl" sentiment. there is something about this criticism that simply doesn't resonate with me.

but i as i read the comment in question, there are a number of assumptions that are simply false.

without going more into the specifics of the comment, who criticizes someone for wanting to enrich their own creative lives? my sense is that this commenter has a number of insecurities about her own accomplishments, and is displacing those on other people. the point of her entire project is to dis-prove everything that Another Girl at Play stands for. why are women not entitled to enjoy or explore different creative avenues and be enriched in them, regardless of whether they are "successful." i simply don't understand it.

on "writing"

at what point in time do you become an "aspiring writer?" is it primarily a mental state, which encompasses the desire to be published? or is it simply the act of writing to express your thoughts, or to see if you can give yourself a larger perspective on a specific principle or thought? i wonder this out loud because the advent of blogging has allowed so many people to essentially "self-publish."

and if you are a "writer" but you also blog, do you reserve your "best" articles and stories for publishing? i see some fabulously witty blogkeepers/writers who write so eloquently on their blogs that it makes me wonder about the things that they're "keeping."

New Coat

we repainted our bedroom these past couple of weekends, and while it's a little plain, right now, it's still a vast improvement over the "old days."

what it used to look like:

currently:

bedside

closet

window view

there's still a lot of decorating to be done, and we're going to have to do something about sheets that actually match the decor, but we're on our way to having a house that's actually "ours" in the sense that it reflects our style.

About this blog

About 8 years ago, I arrived for my first post-law school job in my ill-fitting navy blue suit. For the next five years, almost everything I did work-wise was intended to further the goal of economic equilibrium. I've moved on a bit, but in many ways, my perspective on life has been measured by a set of personal supply-and-demand curves: Am I balancing my work with my family and personal time? Am I knitting too much? Do I have enough cards to stamp on? Do I have enough gel pens at work? Too many?

Even before my son’s birth I’ve been searching to achieve some sense of balance in my life. However, I have yet to reach a place where I can actually say that things are balanced, at least for extended periods of time.

I question whether “balance” actually exists and is achievable—or if it is just a fiction that serves to provide one of many goals that just help keep us “going.” Then, if balance can be reached, is it then a static concept? Can you essentially freeze your circumstances to that you remain in a state of balance?

So began the experiment. This blog is just my attempt to capture, organize, and many parts of my life, and then determine whether these things I’ve been doing have actually unknowingly given me some semblance of “balance,” whatever that thing actually may feel like. Here is where I can try and weave together the individual threads of life as a mother of a toddler and wife to an endearingly funny man-boy who manages to charm and confound me every single day. Here is where I jot down random, scrambled observations in scattered words. Here is where I ponder about my latest journey into making jewelry or think out loud about interfacing options for handmade handbags, and then show the pictures of those creations (when I remember to). This place also gives me the opportunity to write, which is something that I’ve found lately to be to my liking, thanks to some very wonderful sources of inspiration.

This site, therefore, was named what it’s named. The concept of “equilibrium” is one of balance, where supply meets demand: no less, no more. Perhaps you might think that I’m dreaming if am trying to actually achieve a concrete, permanent sense of balance simply by writing about those things that “balance out” the things in my life that have an excessive influence. But I believe that whether you can actually achieve balance is an open-ended question, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever arrive at an answer.

I don’t think I need an “about me” page, even though whenever I visit every other blog, I always go to that person’s “100 Things” page first. This probably means I am nosy. However, for me, all of those the details on a single, searchable page on a website make me a little uncomfortable (but not much), and so you will see them scattered throughout my entries.

You will notice a lack of any explicit references to my work life, outside of being a mother. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, the nature of what I do requires me to have a high level of confidentiality, and to basically discuss the specifics of my work environment and my profession is essentially career suicide. However, you will occasionally find references to certain concepts in my entries that might help you piece together for yourself what I do career-wise. Frankly, I don’t recommend taking the time to do that. You will bore yourself to tears. Second, more often than not, my job is precisely the thing that I am trying to balance with other aspects of my life. Therefore, this place captures the “everything but work” parts of my life.

It’s not that I don’t take pride in my professional life. People who have Googled me have told me that the search taught them that I’d accomplished a fair bit in the past handful of years. However, lately I’ve come to realize that it’s not the “end-all/be-all” that I had considered it to be while in college. There are reasons for this particular change that are detailed elsewhere, and some people stumbling across this place might be privy to those things, but here is simply not the place. Here, I get to focus on the “other” parts of my life, the parts that really should have the spotlight, if only on a semi-anonymously-kept blog.

I’ve categorized entries to correspond with all things creative (including discussions about other’s work), family life, ramblings about what I see going on “out there in the world,” and shopping. That very last category is one that I have some misgivings about, but that might just be good old Catholic guilt tapping on my shoulder as I sit and tap-tap-tap away at the keyboard. I like to “window shop” online in the sense that I like to look for “just right” items, regardless of whether I buy them or not, and so these entries are just my way of listing the things that I’d like to buy (regardless of whether I actually buy them) and just telling some friendly folks what I’ve found. So enough with the guilt, already!

Hope you enjoy my thoughts, observations, and ramblings as I try and find—and perhaps maintain—equilibrium.

Language Lessons and Economics

My ongoing lessons in Toddler-ese are continuing, however, my son's penchant for making words up has become something of a stumbling block. Two days ago, he requested that I tell him a bedtime story about "Tokkies," and I felt pangs of anxiety.

I was simply unable to determine whether I had knowledge of these purported "Tokkies." Luckily, I diverted his attention to something else, but I was still confused: Had we discussed "Tokkies" before, and when?

Usually, it only takes a couple of questions to determine whether: A) a certain Toddler-ese word actually corresponds to an actual concept, and B) what that thing is. However, my questions regarding the "Tokkies" have proven to be unfruitful. An example:

Me: Did you see Tokkies on Disney?

Son: Yes.

Me: Did you see Tokkies on Nickelodeon?

Son: Yes.

[we go online to the Nick website and click links to various shows]

Me: [pointing to the "Three Monsters"] Are these Tokkies?

Son: Yes.

Me: Oh, okay. [pointing to "The Wild Thornberries"] What about these--are these Tokkies?

Son: Yes. [nods head very seriously]

I've asked him the names of the "Tokkies" and he proceeded to provide me with three names, all completely undecipherable and still mysterious. He has started to just make up words lately, so I'm wondering if this is one of those types of things.

But he really is quite funny, and might start to become a tattletale. He informed me that his friend at daycare "made a mess" while eating crackers. Having to maintain my image as the Infallible Parent, I didn't tell him that I, too, make a mess of crackers. I really do. It's terrible. What if he told his daycare provider? She might not let me run around the yard pushing a toy truck, and that would be simply devastating.

I told him that it was okay to make a mess, as long as you clean it up. Besides, we pay people to clean things up in the corporate world all the time, so I'm essentially helping my son learn lessons that help him understand the fabric of the American economy.

So, yes, I'm a good parent, even though I'm still not conversant in Todder-ese.

Shopping with the Girl 1

Shopping List: sites in my URL history because I’ve been salivating over the goodies:

Posie: Rosie Little Things: The Hand-Embroidered handbags are darling. I still love the Afternoon Delight handbags and the Marguerite handbags to coordinate with the skirts.
Shy Siren: for delicious looking handmade beaded jewelry. I am so intrigued by this blue frosted glass beaded bracelet.
Harveys: for girly-girl clothing. And I’m still waiting for my Cadillac Pink Large Tote Snap Bag, thankyouverymuch.
Prints at Neiman Marcus: I love the dresses here, but I also love this Laundry by Shelli Segal dress.
Carrie Mader jewelry: total inspiration. I’m in love with the Midori necklace and the Riley bracelet.
Kate: I can’t stay away, even though my grey Italian nylon bag has missing stitches. And how did she know that I would love the dragonflies so much?

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