equilibrium-girl.com

A Christmas Visual

This pictures speaks volumes of what Christmas is like with The Governor.

It also captures what I believe is the ideal Christmas: busy, casual, full of surprises and in the company of those who love you best.

Denial

Conan blithely denies that he wants a radio-controlled car. However, in our URL history are less than 5 links to RC websites. He also has told me the specific type of RC vehicle he wants. Denial is sometimes an exquisitely simple thing.

another voice to the commentary

As some of you already know, anonymous lawyer voluntarily outed himself as Harvard law student Jeremy Blachman in a New York Times article. My blog stalkee rufus discusses the experiment in a way that reflects some of my impressions--which makes sense because we share certain past and current workplace experiences and most likely share a healthy cynicism about our shared profession.

i don't have much to say myself about the unmasking itself, but i thought that AL was a neat experiment. however, i also question the contributions that were made by other people who were "in on it" and helped perpetuate the construct. i loved the character of AL, but having recently left the private practice and having participated in the recruiting process, i feel that he went a little overboard in including too many stereotypical qualities in one person to make it believable. yes, there are partners who cheat on their wives. yes, there are partners who make hiring decisions based on looks. and yes, favoritism is extremely rampant in that particular context (but a wise associate learns to game the system in order to become successful within it). however, to manifest all of these things in one person makes the character "too bad to be true."

the other thing about AL is that the actual details of his work were negligible to non-existent. true, to spill the blood-and-guts details of transactions would result in breaches of any number of privileges (and yes, there are more than just a-c and awp (although technically that is a doctrine)), but your reactions to your work and descriptions of the experiences of working with a brainless co-associate or trying to get necessary documents from a client is the best stuff, the--dare i say it?--real stuff. it's the type of thing that law students really should be interested in. the details that i often liked to provide to eager, fresh-faced law students jockeying for "coveted" spots on a summer associate roster. yet sadly, a lot of them would sit through these diatribes of mine with typical glazed over expressions. i never had the heart to tell them that their "i've decided that i really, really, really want to work for a firm" pleas never made a difference to me, and that my eyes glazed over whenever i heard those words.

i have a handful of acquaintances and friends who exemplify the best parts of the practice of law, and they give me hope when they talk happily about their work or when i see them working through fact patterns. but really, they are few and far between and the only reason that i know them at all is pure, dumb luck. but i like them, and i like my profession. more importantly, i like that they remind me that you can do this job and have your wits about you. they give me a lot of hope.

Post Holiday Decompression

we are in the fuzzy-headed, zombie state that comes after a handful of nights of interrupted sleep and the routine series of holiday events. i'm loving the fact that my family likes to keep things to a very close circle of family friends who we have known since childhood. as an introvert by nature, large crowds of people that i don't know very well are slightly intimidating. since the holidays are stressful as it is, worrying about making conversation is not something i like to add to the mix. i did get some great presents, and the best thing about them is that the givers thought about what i like to do with my life and what i might appreciate.

my brother and his wife gave me an extra-large self-healing cutting mat that i can use for bookbinding purposes--and possibly for sewing, whenever I actually learn to use that darn rotary cutter. "santa" also gave me a book on decorative paper that's got some great ideas in it as well.

my mom gave me a great book to read, and she decorated jewelry boxes for myself, my sister, and my sister-in-law as well as creating photo books.

my husband picked up on the fact that i love wearing warm fuzzy sweaters. he was also generous with displays of affection.

the governor gave me time to myself and an understanding of why we don't do certain things (like take what our baby cousins are playing with).

i love these very simple things, and i am hoping that my son will learn to just enjoy simple things too. i think like most parents, i'm prone to indulgence, but i think that most kids are just happy that someone recognized that they liked this character or this type of thing and have people to play with. i'd like to think that adults are the same way too.

The "Most Wonderful" Time of the Year??

i've turned off the comment function because i just got hit with a massive wave of icky, yucky blogspam. i don't get a lot of comments at any rate, and those who want to get in touch with me usually know how.

as i get older and take on more holiday oriented responsibilities, i start doubting that this is truly "the most wonderful time of the year." in fact, i believe that it's the most stressful. i realize that there is a lot of joy and celebration and being with family, and i definitely partake in those things. however, when you have two income family and busy jobs and an active, busy toddler, two months' worth of buying presents for 20 people, decorating, cooking, traveling in addition to working sucks. it royally sucks. sorry, i just need a moment to get over myself before i get along with my Christmas merriment. i will be back full of cheer very soon.

Something New

I am really enjoying my new job. In fact, sometimes I think to myself "why didn't I do this sooner?" Then I remember that I probably couldn't. When they ("they" in the generic sense) hire for these types of jobs, usually they need you to have some experience under your belt and to have paid your dues. I have paid my dues, and I think that I have possibly overpaid this past year. In a way, I might be receiving some karmic remittance.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't learn something new. I'm now in a different-but-related specialty, so in addition to just learning how to do my job, I'm learning how to practice in a completely different area. I'm surrounded by really great people, and there is very little competition between us. It's good. No, I take that back: it's great.

Here's a random question: do boys basically act the same way towards you if they like you, regardless of how old they are? does a 35 year old boy act the same way as a 12 year old boy? do they treat you at arm's length and find some excuse--and excuse-to contact you? if you send them a communique, do they immediately respond...but only in a veiled manner? and what is the 35 year old equivalent of pulling on a girl's pigtails? is it teasing her about her career prospects? just some food for thought.

it's plain to see in hindsight

Remember how I talked about the Remote Boss in the entry on the top of my October Archives page?

Well, it turns out that I have a crush on him. All of that jabbering about how he is such a great boss and gave me a lot of independence and what not? Well, it turns out that I was attracted to him for all of those things. You know how I found out? I actually met him in person this morning. Fancy that. It turned out that we were at the same conference. I had promised him before I left my previous place of employment that I would say hello after he gave a presentation. I ended up sitting through his presentation with the vague thought of "hey, my former Remote Boss is kinda cute. actually, he's really cute."

and with that, i kept good on my promise to say hello after his presentation, and it turns out that he was every bit as nice in person. and cute.

did i mention yet that he was cute?

but the funny thing is, i know a lot of people would not find him objectively cute. i think because i knew a bit about his personality beforehand, it colored my opinion of him.

i get the vague feeling that i've written something like this before.

New Alignment

When did Ryan Reynolds get to be so ridiculously hot? I used to not be into facial hair (on a guy, silly people!), but he does it so well. It helps us get beyond the whole Van Wilder thing.

Oh, and the new muscles sorta help too. I used to be a Pete type a gal in my "2 Guys and a Girl" watching days, but it should be clear as to why I've seen the light and become a Berg devotee.

Ooo..Little St. Nick...

Obligatory picture with St. Nick:

The Governor was surprisingly good during the hour-long wait. Although the clothing choice was decidedly casual, replete with paint-stained sleeves, I think the pictures turned out pretty good. However, when the actual picture was taken by the "Santa Picture People," apparently The Governor's smile was so overwhelming that they lost power immediately after the picture was taken.

The Past Is...Just The Past

yesterday, i was on the street where someone from my past once lived. only i didn't know exactly what house was his. you see, in our conversations he had mentioned the street name and his neighborhood and we had talked about the area. but for certain reasons, i never went there. in any event, i got the closure that i had wanted, with no thanks to the person in question and the entire episode has been neatly swept under the rug. however, yesterday i was required to go to that particular area and after circling for parking, i gave up and parked in an overpriced garage at the foot of his street.

i walked up the hill, over the bridge, on the cobblestone streets to my destination. i'd remembered our conversations about that street. i don't think he knew how lucky he was to get to live there, it's an amazing street right in the heart of a neat but overpriced area. there is a historical canal with a pathway that you can walk along. so many beautiful things to see. if i were single, i'd live there.

i thought about him for the first time in a very, very long time, and his memory was vivid. and i felt no longing. i remembered him with affection and i smiled at the thought of his smile, but as i walked along, i did not feel compromised. i knew yesterday that i made the right choice.

i'm not sure if it's true when they say "time heals all wounds," but sometimes it helps. sometimes all you need to do is sit and wait until the relationship truly becomes "the past."